If life was a book here are some chapter and section titles.

In the Beginning

  1. Visiting the Mountain.
  2. The man who would be Governor General.
  3. Travelling in a converted Aircraft Carrier, Escort.
  4. The Nuns and the head of state.
  5. The Speed Boat the the Picnic Basket.
  6. Sleep drug dispensary.
  7. Emergency I
  8. Sitting on King Neptune’s Knee.

The Escape

  1. Running away on a boat.
  2. The racists.
  3. Smoking in the Gutter.
  4. A fibro home.
  5. Below the poverty line.

Settling Down

  1. Painting in one colour – black
  2. The weird sport called Aussie rules.
  3. Nappies
  4. Batman Smells.
  5. The windowsill punishment
  6. The cookie man/priest.
  7. Caps on windy hill.
  8. Tennis ball boy
  9. The man who knows everything.
  10. Mr bug.
  11. Anglicans and Catholics.
  12. The doctor and the undertaker.
  13. Going North.
  14. Drive by shooting/ internal murders.
  15. Scholarships.
  16. Passage of anuses.
  17. The evils of horse racing.
  18. Sunshine police station.
  19. Westie Bliss.
  20. Gone to the races.
  21. The sheep and the Milk bottles.

Moving On.

  1. People who hate microwaves and dishwashers.
  2. Milk bottle
  3. Roast chooklotto chickens.
  4. Fraser’s atomic bomb.
  5. Property is theft
  6. Little orange graffiti houses.
  7. The namby pamby asio man.
  8. Kangaroo scrotum money bags
  9. They hate us
  10. Vasseline & copper filings
  11. The wrong drawing
  12. The nurses and the epileptic child
  13. Lunch in weisbaden.
  14. Woody the north american airforce spy
  15. Steering the Elephant.
  16. The partly open window pt I
  17. Dancing to the bushwackers.
  18. Unholy alliances.
  19. Kangaroo scrotum money bags.
  20. Shooting people.
  21. The Pipe Wrench.
  22. The people who hate scientology.
  23. Prostitutes and the french nuns
  24. The rsl racists.
  25. The Wheelbarrow I
  26. The Traitor.
  27. A city full of rats
  28. Witch hunting.
  29. Laundering money in the vegetable shop
  30. Brunswick social club police boots
  31. Phillip the one handed
  32. $80.
  33. Stroke.
  34. Cows are unnatural animals.
  35. The missing diamond.
  36. Throwing clocks.
  37. A man who thinks he can’t be seen.
  38. Sheep waiting for the Doug Anthony all Stars.
  39. Single mothers and Belly Dancers.
  40. Castrating and Docking Sheep.
  41. Shooting people I
  42. Coopers and lybrand
  43. De-hinley street
  44. An Italian gambling den
  45. All you need is a tv and a VCR
  46. Fog Dreaming.
  47. Freaky Mountain Streets.

A first attempt

  1. Rose and the good Christians
  2. Fencing out the heathens
  3. Escorted to the door
  4. A video, a tv, a party.
  5. The prostitutes in MacDonalds
  6. Smoking pot on, in bed, in Amsterdam.
  7. Mrs. C and  the Stroke.
  8. Seven brides for seven llamas.
  9. The Children of god.
  10. Disliking students
  11. Beef tendon
  12. Five Bells on a Cat.
  13. Topless hairdressers.
  14. The jardine dilemma.
  15. Teamwork.
  16. Do you have any donkeys?


  1. Top of the town.
  2. The smile
  3. When no one would come forward.
  4. Expurgated gannets.
  5. Are you in or out
  6. TIMS
  7. Passing information from one toilet cubicle to the next.
  8. The filing cabinet
  9. Table dancing
  10. Steve Visard
  11. Bondage barbie
  12. A door that doesn’t close properly.
  13. Police saying, the amount of time it takes depends on how angry he is.
  14. An angry pause.
  15. Pauline Hanson
  16. Students on Trams.
  17. Pinging all the computers
  18. Happy Birthday (Chinese).
  19. Pinging all the PCs
  20. Filing cabinets
  21. Hating the police.
  22. Latter day saints and the god father
  23. The sorry throat specialist
  24. A flood of people suddenly saying, i never said anything bad about you.

The best of a bad set

  1. The hard way or the easy way.
  2. The prawn infestation
  3. The dangers of acting upon bad advice.
  4. A forgiveness given and but refused.
  5. Adopted by the mob.
  6. Lines in the sand.
  7. The wrong hand signs.
  8. Do what we say and you can have what you want, the cabot prophecy
  9. People who love prawns.
  10. Talking to the Enemy.
  11. Accelerant.
  12. The wrong answers.
  13. You need to shout.
  14. What whores think.
  15. Distorted truths.
  16. Primed by prejudice.
  17. The BDM and O.H.M.S.
  18. The rice nazi.
  19. How the mighty have fallen.
  20. Pamela Anderson.
  21. Adopted by the mob.
  22. Following the riot police
  23. $25,000 NTD
  24. Standing on the roof top
  25. Blue balls.
  26. The comptrollers.

The Grand Tour

  1. Taipei (臺北) Bound
  2. The American Embassy and the British Army
  3. 上公車,下公車< /li>
  4. Riot Police, Protesters and Nuclear Waste

No more pretending

  1. Two roof tops in Taipei.
  2. The Triads and the IRA.
  3. Going to Vietnam
  4. Taroko National Park (太魯閣國家公園)
  5. Import Export
  6. Taiwan train tickets and bus stop signs
  7. Sating a desperate need
  8. Card and Memorisation
  9. A broken watch seal.
  10. Thailand or tai nan.
  11. An American eating on the streets of naha.
  12. 我要你.
  13. Okayama knowing.
  14. A grid of sleeping minds.
  15. A stolen child.
  16. You ma Woman?
  17. Emailing the word “bomb”.
  18. A carriage filled men with sub machine guns.
  19. The Russian Mafia and sneaking back out of the hotel Mokba.
  20. The Mayor of Moscow.
  21. Different wavelengths.
  22. Sneaking out of the hotel room.
  23. Protected by Jesus.
  24. The disappearance.
  25. The Americans and the Stripper.
  26. A soup with wild fruit.
  27. Hot potatoes in Stockholm.
  28. Autodrom Most
  29. The power: chesky budovich and spandao.
  30. The Short Skirt Girl.
  31. Street party
  32. Brian yap Barry.
  33. The power of expectation.
  34. Living on the outside.

Home Again

  1. Flashing boobies.
  2. Cosmopolitan or Multicultural
  3. Didn’t expect him to come back.
  4. The Low and the High Churches.
  5. The man who went to the Philippines.
  6. Olympic security.
  7. The auditors.
  8. She who must be obeyed.
  9. Not taking the bait
  10. We were only trying to protect you, a feeble excuse for racism and bigotry.
  11. Malcolm Fraser
  12. The $3000 lawyers.
  13. Marigold
  14. The Nickers on the roof
  15. Sri lankans on a stone
  16. The desperate ones.
  17. Gandalf and the laser light show.
  18. Good for business
  19. Tongues on toast.
  20. Chasing Wild Geese.


  1. To be or not to be nice from the start.
  2. Tattooed legs
  3. Forgetting to check I
  4. Going over to the dark side.
  5. Doing things the hard way
  6. Smelly People
  7. A system that dies not take into account people’s allergies.
  8. Men who hate modern art.
  9. Shooting people II
  10. The mysterious file
  11. The missing file I.
  12. Mushrooms.
  13. It will only take one.
  14. The partly open window pt II
  15. Arseholes and smart arses
  16. Mossad
  17. Artificially limiting supply as a method of increasing power and profit.
  18. Out smarted by 5 and 13 year old children.
  19. Only one Brian Yap
  20. The abuse of privilege.
  21. Going the hard way.
  22. Men who don’t know anything.
  23. The mastermind
  24. The password
  25. Weirdos who hate hip hop.
  26. Sprint
  27. Cunning Plans
  28. The tangents people head off on.
  29. The file has Fallen behind the desk.
  30. The merry chase.
  31. Rose coloured glasses.
  32. Holding you friends close and your enemies closer.
  33. Taking him off the list
  34. Failing the test.
  35. The graceful art of not knowing.
  36. The lamington and the general.
  37. The goose chase
  38. Blame.
  39. We have proof.
  40. People who are adamant but don’t have a clue.
  41. Pressing all the wrong buttons and pulling all the wrong leavers.
  42. How to line a hole with concrete and steel.
  43. Living in the land of false positives.
  44. Privacy, the desire to hide from the harsh reality of the world and the crazy people who love in it.
  45. A fatal error of judgement. (if he knew this he must have known that too)
  46. Emergency II
  47. Bad Karma.
  48. The supplier.
  49. Spiders and staches.
  50. People who snore.
  51. Middle class people who hate working class people.
  52. The spy declaration.
  53. Abusing the system when there is no recourse.
  54. Verboten streets
  55. Creeping though the underfloor cable space.
  56. People trying to work out who I am from Flickr photos and groups.
  57. Don’t let him win
  58. Dirty laundry.
  59. Team spirit.
  60. Self serving distortions.
  61. People who hate children so much they don’t want photos if them.
  62. They knew he did not know, but they said nothing.
  63. The path to subservience.
  64. Doing things the hard way.
  65. Throwing eggs on Christmas day
  66. Fitting the Profile.
  67. Mid life crisis.
  68. The nudity phobia.
  69. The insanity plea
  70. Stupid and stupider.
  71. The master file.
  72. Hating Ned Kelly
  73. The dangers of throwing mud.
  74. Knowing how to tell the difference between fantasy and reality.
  75. Geeks make the world go round.
  76. Disliking country road clothes.
  77. Having to be afraid to fall in love.
  78. The agenda item.
  79. Karaoke.
  80. The rock and the hard place.
  81. The missing file II.
  82. Who needs evidence anyway?
  83. The guessing game.
  84. He has to admit!
  85. The man who walks everywhere.
  86. Tethered
  87. The most unique man.
  88. When belief meets reality.
  89. The director said, he is deceitful. He write it down.
  90. Changing or being changed.
  91. Smiling at the wrong time.
  92. Mushrooms.
  93. An inability to be good enough.
  94. The man who fed his child dog food.
  95. -3 out of 10
  96. F-
  97. Pushing all the wrong buttons, pulling all the wrong leavers is all the wrong sequences.
  98. A grand deception
  99. The monster and the alcoholic, the tale if a small girl.
  100. Aracnophobia – People who hate spiders
  101. Backing Off.
  102. The great bleaching event.
  103. Moral compass.
  104. The dangers of using verbs without subjects and objects.
  105. Sorry about what?
  106. Middle aged men are all pedophiles.
  107. The Black Pool.
  108. The man who didn’t do anything.
  109. The way Americans think.
  110. Fingerprints
  111. Intimidation.
  112. Waiting for him to die
  113. People who keep on forgetting things.
  114. Hidden meanings, lurking dangers
  115. The suicide watch
  116. Forgetting to check II
  117. The wrong kid.
  118. Sociopaths
  119. A bet that backfired
  120. The spinach man
  121. The face book haters.
  122. The parents who drive their children insane.
  123. Never did any of this. Never did any if that. Only one kind of information.
  124. Jipped.
  125. The graceful art of Skype dancing.
  126. The fence
  127. Fitting the profile
  128. Standing ovations.
  129. Dried up sources
  130. Consequences.
  131. Men who have but say they won’t.
  132. When expectation meets reality.
  133. Minimalist truths and deliberate misrepresentations.
  134. The crazy peoples
  135. The men who won’t admit.
  136. Psychosis and Phobias.
  137. Idiots with strong beliefs.
  138. Control freaks.
  139. Spoinked.
  140. Wheelbarrow II
  141. Autistic.
  142. Fucking psychopaths.
  143. The list
  144. Brain Cancer
  145. The responder.
  146. A death threat.
  147. 客家 : fleeing eternally
  148. Epsilon.
  149. Deception
  150. Misinterpretations and misrepresentations.
  151. Denial
  152. The men who can’t like Facebook.


  1. Functioning Again

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